Mindvalley author, Marisa Peer, has created a revolutionary breakthrough with her 8 week transformational experience, the Uncompromised Life . And then, S*M*A*C*K!! Seemingly out of nowhere, the compilation of hurts and pain and wounds erupts one day…often in excess to the trigger that caused the smoldering volcano to spew, and probably just as often toward someone undeserving. Taking responsibility can be the hardest part. No one likes being wrong. Very few people find pleasure in knowing they are responsible for hurting someone else. We have a complete lunatic hooligan faction driven by far-right ideology, and also then this disruptive tendency engaged in serious violence."

Hurting the ones you love happens when you tend to ruin things even when they are going well. There are many reasons for self-sabotage, including unresolved childhood trauma and fears. If you link intimacy to negative experiences in your past, you tend to portray a push-and-pull behavior. That is, the closer people get to you, the more you pull away. Perhaps the solution is not to destroy a piece of our hearts, but rather to see that “good” and “evil” correspond closely with “healed” and “hurt.” Perhaps the solution is to bring the hurt, shadowy parts of ourselves into the light of awareness—to accept, integrate, and love these wounded pieces of ourselves, thereby neutralizing, healing, or transmuting them. Jung’s words come to mind: “One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” There can also be a warped sense of ‘justice’ on an unconscious level. A person might consciously wish to avoid reenacting the hurtful behaviors that were inflicted upon them, but unconsciously they might feel resentful and think, “This happened to me, I had to deal with this, so other people should have to deal with this too.” And then without realizing it, they subtly reenact the behaviors they wish to avoid. The ‘Hurt People Hurt People’ quote explains that individuals who have experienced significant hurt or trauma in their lives may struggle with regulating their emotions and behaviors which could ultimately lead them to hurt others. Thus it becomes evident why we need empathy towards such people instead of being harsh on them. They may be suffering from underlying issues such as anxiety or depression that fuel their negative behavior.A new way of thinking, a new way of acting, and a new way of living. A process by which you can come to truly love yourself. Transcending the pain, the hurting , and the darkness. Finding yourself quite possibly happier than you have ever been before. I was broken for many years so I can understand where people are coming from when they behave in certain ways. Similarly, as we heal and release our traumas, and as we gain awareness of our patterns of thought, emotion, and behavior, we act less and less from a place of unconsciousness, and thus we cause less and less harm. As we gradually penetrate through our many layers of ego, persona, defense mechanisms, conditioning, and indoctrination, we begin to get in touch with our center: Unconditional love, the light of pure consciousness, the infinite wellspring of creative potential at the center of Being.

We all strive to save ourselves from pain and hurts, enough that when we see others doing or having it better than we do, we try to inflict upon them the pain that we feel. Consider James 4:1-3, which says:

Another night that started out with such anticipation and excitement.

I silently asked myself “Why am I so angry?” That’s when I remembered that “Hurting people hurt people.”