Sexual and emotional chemistry. Sexual and emotional chemistry can present itself based on a physical attraction one might feel for another person. This may or may not lead to physical intimacy.

Do you know the guys with the loud mufflers on their car that interrupt your conversations as they drive by? Some of them are louder than ambulance sirens. It’s annoying. It’s because affairs take place in the lives of all kinds of people — from all walks of life. Affairs don’t happen just between bad or evil people. Despite my confidence in my overall intelligence, I had a 4-year affair I had with a married man. Yup. That was not a winning move. Understatement.You have things you wonder about. Questions you may have had for years – with no answers yet. Trying to make sense of things that have happened. Not sure how to interact with things said or done to you. Affairs of your heart take energy to process, and most of that happens while you are doing double-duty with daily responsibilities. You don’t get a vacation from managing affairs of your heart. You have to multi-task almost every hour you are awake.

Sometimes the things we abhor and rail against the most become those hot fire coals that we have to singe our feet on to ultimately be humbled. Such closeness can also be a reaction to separate injury in the relationship, and indeed can be utilized to resolve the injury and heal the primary relationship. That’s because, at the time that I got involved in the affair with a married man, I was completely swept off my feet. The charisma of the man I got involved with mixed with the intense sexual chemistry we shared was absolutely and undeniably potent at the time the affair started. When the third party is often idealised, it is not a fair comparison, says Calvert. “It’s like this big fantasy is created – they seem to understand you, but actually you’re not seeing the whole of them, because you don’t have a full relationship.” That’s life. It tends to level you when you get too cavalier about the things you shouldn’t — consistently.As you can see, affairs of your heart can be simple stuff, complicated issues, and serious developments. They can involve another person, a particular event, an experience, a dream or goal, a habit, a self-indulgence, etc. It may involve good things that become too important. More Complicated– things brewing in your heart under the surface. You may or may not be aware of them. Chloe is confident the relationship was never physical – but 15 years later it is still enormously hurtful. At the time, they had been married for 12 years and had a three-year-old son. “Before, I thought that pain could only come from a physical betrayal – there wasn’t a rulebook to follow for this type.” Deception and secrecy. Those involved may not tell their partners about the amount of time they spend with each other. An individual involved in this type of affair may, for example, tell their spouse that they are doing other activities when they are really meeting with someone else. Or the unfaithful spouse may exclude any mention of the other person while discussing the day’s activities to conceal the rendezvous. Even if no physical intimacy occurs, the deception shows that those involved believe they are doing something that undermines the existing relationship, whether because they feel the action is inherently wrong, or because they fear retribution from an unnecessarily jealous partner.