but really, even if you are in this for the age difference above all, it is in your interest to remember that a huge number of people in their forties+ who date younger aren't interested in "younger women" - they're interested in 30 year old women, same as they were when they were 30 themselves. In another exercise, I invite participants to get in contact with their radiant infant self, still alive inside them, and their wisest, most resourced ancient self. Some older lesbians I work with have been out for decades, and have witnessed incredible changes in the landscape of LGBTQ rights, visibility and acceptance.

On the one hand, if you make it to 80, you’ve undoubtedly faced more deaths in people you love, and more changes in your own physical capacity, than most people have faced at 40.I don't think you mean it this way, but I read it and think "oh, this person would want me to make up for the emotional shortcomings of the man in her life" and that's a dynamic that's a lot less attractive to many queer women in their forties who, frankly, are tired of making up for the emotional shortcomings of many of the straight men in our own lives, and aren't looking to take that work on for someone else. Whether you’ve been out for a long time or are just coming out now, there are challenges in seeking love at this age. This means that many more women are realizing their attractions to other women, and finding the courage to act on them. You can change your choices at any time by visiting Cookie preferences, as described in the Cookie notice. Many older women new to lesbian life attended the recent Lesbian Erotic Liberation class held in the Conscious Girlfriend Academy, an international resource providing lesbian dating, relationship and sexuality classes to lesbians, queer women and all women who love women, or want to.

The 103 third parties who use cookies on this service do so for their purposes of displaying and measuring personalized ads, generating audience insights, and developing and improving products. Of course, there are plenty of polyamorous people of all ages and orientations and preferences out there, but you may get better luck in spaces targeting the poly community rather than queer women. because a lot of people stay the same emotionally, inside, from 30 to 45, even as they go on getting sexier and more mysterious on the outside.

Do you want to leave your boyfriend, look for a woman who wants to date you, and figure out where to go from there?

So I respect older single lesbians, “solos,” who choose to focus on their family, their art, their friends and community, rather than on dating and romance. Robin, 54 and Madonna, 61, are fascinating to listen to because their experiences are so different from the experiences of modern young queer people.

I’d start by creating a group of queer friends who can be supportive and/or social buddies, then work on dating.